Self-care for overwhelmed women during the busy holiday season. Gentle guidance on limits, boundaries, and simple practices to support your well-being.
Self-Care in a Busy Season: Learning to Slow Down When Life Has Never Slowed Down for You
I didn’t come to self-care from a place of luxury or leisure.
I came to it from survival.
As a woman who raised children without support, I know the burden of over-functioning. I know what it means to move through life exhausted, responsible for everything, with no dependable help to fall back on. And I know the kind of burnout that becomes so normal you no longer recognize it as burnout — it’s simply life.
Recently, one of my adult children gently urged me to “do less.” And I remember telling them, with complete honesty, that I would love to be less independent, less self-sufficient … and more feminine, soft, supported.
But the truth is, I haven’t had the dependable help I was always told to ask for.
And when help doesn’t come — you learn to carry it.
If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.
And this is the very place where the busy holiday season presses on the most tender parts of us.
December arrives with its lists and expectations. Its emotional weight. Its pace.
And if you are someone who has carried far more than your share, the pressure can feel sharper — the demands heavier.
But this year, I want to offer a different way.
Not one that asks you to pretend you have more support than you do.
Not one that demands elaborate self-care routines no overwhelmed woman actually has time for.
But one rooted in truth, gentleness, and the quiet freedom that comes from recognizing your limits, choosing wisely, and caring for yourself in ways that honor your reality.
To help frame that, I’ve turned to three books that—each in their own way—called me out and called me forward.
1. Learning to Accept Our Limits
Inspired by Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkina
Burkeman reminds us that our time is finite — painfully finite.
And most of the stress we feel comes from believing we should somehow be capable of doing it all.
But we can’t.
Not in December.
Not ever.
He writes about embracing the truth that we are limited humans living within limited time. And when we stop resisting that fact, life becomes clearer, slower, more intentional.
For those of us who lived decades on high alert — carrying everything — this truth can feel almost confrontational.
But it’s also a relief.
You were never meant to carry the entire world.
And especially not in December.
What if part of your self-care this season is simply acknowledging what is humanly possible … and letting the rest fall away?
2. Learning to Choose Wisely
Inspired by The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
If Burkeman hands us the truth about limits, TerKeurst hands us the tool for living within them: discernment.
Every yes you say this month will cost you something.
Your energy, your peace, your attention, your sleep.
And as someone who grew used to doing everything because you had to, it can feel strange to reconsider your yes’s — almost unnatural.
But that’s exactly why this book is so powerful.
Wisdom is not knowing how to do more.
Wisdom is knowing what to do less.
Your “best yes” for December might look like:
- Saying no to an event so you can say yes to rest
- Saying no to perfection so you can say yes to presence
- Saying no to old roles so you can say yes to who you are now
- Saying no to performing so you can say yes to being human
TerKeurst reminds us that boundaries are not selfish — they are sacred.
And December is a holy time for practicing them.
3. Learning to Care for Yourself Gently
Inspired by The Extremely Busy Woman’s Guide to Self-Care by Suzanne Falter
Falter writes for women who are running on fumes — women who lost themselves in the needs of others, women who have lived through seasons that demanded too much.
In other words: women like you.
Her approach is not about spa days or perfect morning routines.
It’s about small, daily moments of kindness toward yourself:
- Taking three deep breaths before you respond
- Drinking water before caffeine
- Going to bed earlier than usual
- Letting the dishes wait
- Saying, “That can be tomorrow’s problem”
- Creating five minutes of silence
- Choosing one thing — not all the things
Self-care doesn’t have to be dramatic.
It just has to be consistent.
And in a month where everyone else is accelerating, your act of self-care might simply be slowing your pace by a single degree.
A New Way to Move Through December
When you combine the wisdom of these three voices, a gentle pattern emerges:
- From Burkeman: You are limited — and that’s not a flaw.
- From TerKeurst: Your yes’s matter — choose them with care.
- From Falter: Small things count — and they rebuild you slowly.
This is the kind of self-care that honors both your history and your humanity.
It holds space for the woman you had to be — strong, resilient, capable — and it makes room for the woman you are becoming — softer, supported, more at peace.
You don’t need a perfect December.
You don’t need to meet anyone else’s expectations.
You don’t need to earn rest or justify your limitations.
You simply need room to breathe.
And if no one else is offering you that room, let this be your reminder that you are allowed to give it to yourself.
A Gentle Invitation
Before you rush back into the season, pause for a moment.
Put a hand over your heart if that feels comfortable.
Take one slow breath.
And ask yourself:
“What is one small thing I can do — or one thing I can allow myself not to do — that would care for me in this moment?”
It doesn’t have to be big.
It doesn’t have to be beautiful.
It just has to be yours.
Let it be enough.
-laura